I needed a new toilet seat so I went on ebay and searched for “toilet seat unicorn”
I’m so going to buy it.
I bet yall didn’t believe me
in my senior drama class i had to play gordon ramsay for a film project but we could only film in school so we had to try to find a closed off room to use. the thing is the room wasn’t exactly soundproof and apparently someone heard us and that’s the story of how the vice principal and four freshmen walked in on me wearing a chef’s hat and yelling at my friend because her squid was so raw i could still hear it telling spongebob to fuck off
did you get an A
I eat a lot for someone who’s terrified of gaining weight.
SO TODAY IN CLASS THIS GIRL ASKED
“DO YOU SHIP KIDS?”
AND AFTER EXPLAINING WHAT SHIPPING WAS, THE TEACHER RESPONDED,
“well….yes, we talk about it in the staff room. Who would look cute with who…”
AND THEN WE HAD A FOLLOW UP QUESTION
“does it affect seating?”
How to find MCR fans in a room
step 1: find a piano
step 2: play the first note to “welcome to the black parade”
step 3: Watch as their heads shoot up instantly
alfred: FUCK SHIT I FUCKED UP I
"Your mom is gaaay!"
Some kids are arguing on my street, one has lesbian moms. I fucking can’t breathe.
mORE AVRIL LAVIGNE